And just like that, January (what always feels like the longest month ever) is finally over. Besides being 31 days, January always feels longer than normal maybe it’s the weather… Although I traded in -60 temperatures for 60 and sunny with a chance of rain. This month was just jam packed! (Read about it in Up on the Update.) January was so busy in fact, that I didn’t have the chance to reflect on 2018 and prepare for the new year. Which is why I decided that February would be my fresh start and a chance to really get it right.
Those of you that have been with me since the very beginning (and those of you who weren’t can read the post here) remember that at the start of 2018 I wasn’t in a great place. I admit I was being a little over the top, but it was a time in my life where I really wasn’t sure what to do next and where to go. It’s also the time I realized how important goal setting is and how having things to work towards can really change how effectively you use your time.
One year ago I was e-introduced to Hilary Rushford the founder of Dean Street Society (no I don’t actually know her personally, but I totally wish!) She’s a young and very inspiring woman who lives in NYC and has built an incredible business from the ground up! She put together a FREE online webinar called Elegant Excellence talking about how to make your dreams come true. Sounds crazy I know, but this little self-journey she encouraged me to go on made all the difference. I knew I had to go through it again this year and that I had to share it with all of you!
Download Here: ElEx-Jan-2018-Workbook-Completed
In case you don’t remember, just one year ago I had just been laid off from my first real full-time job. I had also found out that I was turned down from not just one, but TWO of my dream jobs (of which I had my heart set on and even had my bags packed and ready to move to Waco, TX … LOL). At the time it was easy to feel down on myself and like my career wasn’t going anywhere. Something I was also struggling with was, although I was surrounded by all my closest loved ones, I still felt incredibly lonely. Now, I think it was because I wasn’t challenging myself to get better or pushing myself out of my comfort zone. For the first time in my life I didn’t have a plan set in stone, things weren’t working out, and I was frustrated with my lack of progress.
Just a year later though, I look back on that period of time and I’m so incredibly thankful! I was so fortunate to have so much quality time to spend with my family and being laid off from that job gave me the time and fight to focus on pursuing my next step in life.
After going through this process and really sitting down to think about all of these questions, I prepared a list of goals for my 2018:
- Move out of my parent’s house
- Take myself out for a “Personal Date” each month(I have more info about this queued up for an upcoming post!)
- Book at least 5 Freelance jobs
- Travel somewhere new
- Read a book
- Save money & create a budget
- Make more of an effort to watch the news
- Give nice guys a chance
- Make/create something for ME each month
- Run a 5k
Looking at that crazy list, I couldn’t be prouder to say that in at least some way I have checked off everything that was on my list! I moved out of my parent’s house and actually took it one step farther and moved all the way to California. I took the time to enjoy being by myself and being my own person (including getting my own 1-bedroom place.) I’m happy to say I booked well over 5 freelance projects and it’s continuing to grow. I traveled all over the place in LA but the most noteworthy trip being to Lake Arrowhead. I read Chip and Joanna Gaines book, The Magnolia Story, and loved it even if it took me most of the year to get through it. I made a budget and did my best to stick with it but hey- at least all my bills are getting paid! Although I still hate to watch the news, I signed up for The Skimm and at least I feel like I always have a big picture idea what’s going on in the world. I met Emory (completely on a fluke and unexpectedly) and have had the healthiest and happiest relationship even from over 1,000 miles away. Although I didn’t create something like I had in mind EACH month I started this blog and have pushed myself to find different creative outlets. I also didn’t actually run an organized 5k, but I’ve kept up with running and continue to work towards that goal.
I learned life lessons like work is not my pride and joy in life, so why was I always allowing it to be my number one priority and control my life? I now have a job I absolutely love yet, if I had the choice, I’d still pick a day hanging with my friends and family every time. So why would I ruin other aspects of my life just to get where I “think” I need to be in my career? I learned that getting worked up over little things isn’t always worth it (honestly, it really never is but that doesn’t make it any easier) I learned it’s not fair to always hold myself to my standard of doing things because “I’m supposed to” or because it’s what I think others expect of me. I “won” in my 2018 because I challenged myself to take risks and I put in the work to make them work out. I learned how truly amazing my family and friends really are and how much I’ve taken them for granted in the past.
Phew, that was a lot! When I made my 2018 goal list initially, I would have been happy just crossing a few of the thing off the list. Now I know this process worked and that I as a person am capable of so much more. I made goals for myself that both challenged me while still being fully attainable and I couldn’t be happier with my progress. This process may be tedious but trust me it works! Hilary’s exercises really challenge you to take a look at yourself and sort through what you’re really looking for (both big picture/long term but also what you want just 6 months from now.)
Download Here: ElEx-Jan-2018-Workbook-Completed
Moving forward I have even more goals set! Here are some of the stand outs:
- Create successful morning/evening routines & habits
- Launch a creative Passion Project(one that hopefully brings in some supplemental income)
- Run a 5k (This time it’s actually going to happen)
- Visit a new State/Country
- Book 5 more Freelance Clients/projects
- Payoff at least ½ of my remaining student loans
- Read a book (I never read books so even one is a lofty goal)
- Organize and sort through all of my old files(eeek I’ve been putting this off for forever)
- Visit home at least 3 times
- Try something new/learn a new skill
The important thing about setting goals, is they need to be achievable. For many reasons you need to set goals that you actually have control over and that have a physical outcome that allows you to be like “yes, I did it. I accomplished it.” For example, this year I’m also challenging myself to be more in the moment, but that’s really vague as a goal and there’s not really anything that’d allow me to 100% say I succeeded at that mission a year from now. Another thing is I hope I can continue to grow my relationship, while I’m extremely hopeful and optimistic, it wouldn’t have been fair to me to have the goal last year “find a boy friend” you can’t force that upon anyone including yourself. However, you can find ways to inspire that outcome. For example, challenge yourself to go on more dates by using online dating or something like that. And keep in mind you’re looking at your goals for just one year at a time. Think of all the baby steps you need to accomplish before you get to your ultimate end goal. You’re never going to be able to solve every single world and life problem in just 365 days so allow yourself to be realistic. By writing your goals in a way that you understand the outcome you’re really looking for, you’ll feel even better when you can confidently say you achieved it.
You might ask, why am I sharing all of this personal stuff with you and why I think you care about my goals…? Well, selfishly putting this out there for me helps hold myself accountable. It publishes my goals out into the world and in some way holds me even more accountable. With that being said, if you need someone to help hold you accountable, PLEASE feel free to share it with me! I’d love to be your cheerleader celebrating your victories with you and encouraging you through the rough patches (because trust me it’s not all going to come easy!) Be patient, stay focused and believe in yourself. Moving forward, this blog also gives me the outlet to share my progress working towards these goals throughout the year. By sharing my journey, I hope you can find ways to relate and together we’ll figure out some of these life questions and more ways to find our own meanings of success and happiness.
So, whether you’re feeling a little lost or unsure about what your next step is- seriously take some time to work through this work book. Grab a glass of wine or whiskey, shut your phone off, get out a journal or notebook and take the time to answer and fill in all of these questions. If you get stuck, don’t hesitate to ask for clarification on help IK it can be tricky without her actual webinar! If you find it helpful, I recommend checking out Hilary Rushford’s other webinars about anything from fashion advice, to info about how to start your own business, and even about Instagram. Please let me know if you get as much use out of it as I did and a year from now, I can’t wait for you to look back and see how far you’ve come!
Download Workbook: ElEx-Jan-2018-Workbook-Completed
Day of Jae 